Two things about love — it is active and it is intentional.
While Christians are called to love everyone, we are not called to relate to everyone. This truth brings up some key questions. Are we relating to the ones we are supposed to be relating to? Do we need to add or subtract people? Even entire people groups? Both adding and subtracting need to be done with wisdom and in a biblical way.
Another set of questions surround how we love the people in our lives. Are we intentional? Do they experience our love, and to the extent that we should love them? Is our intention only an intention, or are concrete, meaningful (to the recipient) actions involved?
A further set of questions surrounds how we measure our love. Are we giving to get? In other words, is it only worth it if you are receiving what you expect to receive? Or are you loving the way Jesus loved, wanting the best for those you love and laying down your life for those you love? Are you giving freely and without setting conditions?
The best way to know if you are loving well is to study love in the Bible, as well as those who loved well. The goal is to learn the ways of love rather than creating a perfect standard for behavior.
As you learn these ways, ask God to enable you to improve the way you love. He is love, and wants to love others well through each of us. As we continue to go to Him in humility and ask to be transformed in the way we love, He will answer our prayers in His way and time.
Keywords: loving well, love assessment